Understanding Bipolar Disorder—One Swing at a Time

Wilma Cotten

I am a single mother who had no experience writing a book. I was a computer consultant who likes to read. My writing experience comes from writing programmer specifications, technical documentation and user manuals. While writing these documents, I learned to be very clear and concise. I had to put myself in the reader’s mind so that I could understand things from their point of view. I used that same sense of clarity in writing my book. I do not expect nor have plans to write any additional works. This was a one and done project.

Without being overly detailed, I wanted to honor my daughter’s life. She spent her whole adult life trying to hide her disease. I focused on good things as well as bad to create a picture of what bipolar disorder can do to a person and the family that loves them. Don’t misunderstand me, there are a lot of details in the book because, to someone with this disease, minor things can have a huge impact on their mood and sense of self. My inspiration for the book, besides my daughter obviously, was the mental health system in general. People with mental health issues are shunned and misunderstood. The mental health system in this country is very broken to the point that most people don’t really get proper help. I, personally, have mental health issues related to the things that have happened in my life, even before I had my daughter. I suffer from major depression. I have been in therapy for years and have been on many anti-depressants.

My mental health journey really began while going through my divorce. Over the years, I have had at least five different therapists. I have been on nearly all of the popular anti-depressants including Prozac. I am only now beginning to come out of that dark place. Writing this book was definitely therapeutic. I have a therapist now who has studied the brain and its reaction to certain stimuli. I am doing cognitive behavioral therapy which has included EMDR. I have made great progress since writing the book.

I want people to know that there is help out there and you should not be afraid to ask for help. There is so much attention given to addicts these days without looking at the root cause of those addictions. Many were just looking to feel better while masking what is really going on inside.

I will never be the person I once was but hopefully, I will be a better person than before. I have changed in so many ways. I could not have done it without the help of the mental health professionals that I have been engaged with. The old therapy was just talk therapy. Everyone just needed someone to listen to them. Today’s therapy can go much deeper than that and provide beneficial guidance to understanding oneself and what makes them tick.

I want everyone who reads my book to try to understand that we all have some kind of issues we are dealing with and try to be more compassionate to all those around us. It is a hard journey to look at oneself in the mirror and see beyond the reflection. If something doesn’t feel right mentally, ask for help. Don’t stop trying until you find what works for you.